This experiment actually marked the beginning of female education in Russia. We tell you how noble maidens lived.

New breed

In the 18th century, the generally accepted norm of Russian society was Domostroevsky traditions: girls were not treated on ceremony, they were not taught sciences, their life scenario was predetermined.

However, Empress Catherine II, as a progressive ruler, decided that in Russia, following the example of France, an educational institution for girls of the noble classes should appear. The main goal of the institution was “to improve the breed of Russian fathers and mothers.”

The plan was ambitious: “To bring happiness to the individual and thereby raise the well-being of the entire state.” The Empress intended to take girls from their families in order to protect them from ignorance and, by placing them in an ennobling environment, to create a completely new type of women who in the future would pass on their experience, skills and knowledge to future generations.

The empress did not have daughters, and she became attached to some of her pupils, visited and even corresponded. Four letters from Catherine II to a certain girl Levshina have been preserved.

The Empress wrote: “My bow to the whole society<…>tell them that I am pleased to see their successes of all kinds, it gives me real pleasure; I’ll prove this to them when I come one evening to play to my heart’s content with the company.”

Strict mode

At the same time, about 200 girls were studying at the institute. At first, the institute's rules were harsh. Girls from noble families were accepted from the age of 6 for a period of study of 12 years. The parents signed a document that they would not demand their daughters back and had the right to visit them at strictly allotted times and only with the permission of the manager.

WITH mid-19th centuries, relaxations began to be allowed, the institute began to accept “philistine girls” - they were housed in a separate building. Girls could go home for the holidays, and the period of study was reduced to 7 years.

Once upon a time there lived future society ladies like the Spartans: they got up at six in the morning and had a strict daily routine, there could be up to 8 lessons a day. The young pupils walked in formation - both for prayer and for a walk. The girls were hardened, so the temperature in the bedrooms did not exceed 16 degrees, they slept on hard beds and washed their faces with cold water.

The girls were fed simple food and small portions. The usual menu for noble maidens looked like this: morning tea with a bun, for breakfast a piece of bread with a little butter and cheese, a portion of milk porridge or pasta, for lunch a liquid soup without meat, for the second - meat from this soup, for the third - a small pie, and there was also evening tea with a bun.

During Lent, the diet became even more meager: for breakfast they were given no more than six small potatoes with vegetable oil and porridge, for lunch - soup with cereals, a small piece of boiled fish, which the hungry pupils nicknamed “dead meat” for its disgusting taste and appearance , and a miniature Lenten pie.

Girls enrolled in training were divided into groups by age. Under Catherine there were four “ages”, then they were reduced to three groups. Visually, the division was emphasized by the color of the dress: the younger ones (from 6 to 9) are coffee-colored, hence their nickname “kofulki.” Next came blue (from 9 to 12), the third age (from 12 to 15) wore gray dresses, and graduates (from 15 to 18) wore white.

When choosing such colors, we were guided both by practical goals, because small ones get dirty more often, and by global-spiritual ones: from indivisibility with the earth to high thoughts befitting graduates. But regardless of the color of the dress, the style was modest and of an old-fashioned cut.

The most terrible punishment for pupils was deprivation of a white apron. They were punished mainly for sloppiness, mischief in class, stubbornness and disobedience. The pupils were stripped of their aprons, pinned a piece of paper or a torn stocking to their dress, and forced to stand in the middle of the dining room during lunch.

It was very difficult for girls suffering from incontinence. Such a pupil was obliged to go to breakfast with a wet sheet over her dress; this was a shame not only for her personally, but also for the entire group. The most exemplary pupils were called “parfettes” (from the French “parfaite” - perfect), and the naughty ones “moveshki” (from “mauvaise” - bad).

Training system

The main subjects that girls studied were all types of art, the word of God, languages, exact sciences and humanities. There was physical education with elements of gymnastics and dancing.

The ability to gracefully curtsey was valued more than success in mathematics; teachers forgave bad grades in the exact sciences for good manners, and they could expel you from the institute only for indecent behavior. Their “sciences” especially revered the study of the French language.

The female institutes were rated on a twelve-point scale. At the end of the year, they were required to compile a performance rating and issue intermediate insignia: cockade bows or laces with tassels, which were tied to the hair.

The main goal of education was not to teach, but to educate. Cleverness was not encouraged; a noble girl had to be modest, be able to behave with dignity, and have impeccable manners and taste.

Inequality

Many children of the Decembrists visited Smolny Institute, for example, Kakhovsky’s daughters completed the course with silver medals. Foreign high-ranking persons also studied here: Swedish aristocrats, the granddaughter of Shamil and the daughters of Georgian princes, princesses of Montenegro.

According to official sources, the head of Smolny at that time, Princess Lieven, told the young classy lady: “You may not yet know the traditions of Smolny. The princess must be demanded double and triple, because the fate of her subjects will depend on her character.”

In practice, everything was different. Although the august ladies wore uniform institute dresses and attended regular classes, they were provided with other living quarters and their own kitchen; the girls spent their holidays on the estate of the head of the institute.

Girls from poor families who could not afford long-term education were supported by scholarships organized by imperial family and rich people. They wore a ribbon around their neck, the color of which was chosen by the benefactor.

Star graduates

The first graduation from Smolny was truly famous: the empress knew almost all the girls by name, and assigned some to the court. In the future, the tradition continued: the best candidates of noble birth became ladies-in-waiting.

The maids of honor had a chance to get married successfully, because their circle of acquaintances included the most brilliant grooms in the country. Well, those who were less fortunate with their pedigree, after graduation, looked for a position as a teacher or governess.

Among the famous graduates, we can recall the daughter of King Nikola I of Montenegro and his wife Milena Vukotic, Princess Elena of Montenegro, who, in her marriage to Victor Emmanuel III, became the Queen of Italy and Albania, and the Empress of Ethiopia. Her sisters Grand Duchesses Militsa Nikolaevna, Zorka Nikolaevna and Anastasia Nikolaevna also graduated from the institution.

In 1895, Ksenia Erdeli was a graduate of Smolny - People's Artist USSR, harpist, composer, teacher and founder of the Soviet school of harp performance.

In 1911, Nina Komarova, the future poetess Nina Habias, a student of Alexei Kruchenykh and one of the first futurists, graduated from the institute.

The conceived plan of Catherine II ended in success. The girls who graduated from Smolny played an important role in the education and improvement of Russian society. They were brilliant teachers, wonderful mothers, selfless sisters of mercy.

Many Smolensk women served people: they opened girls’ schools and gymnasiums, built hospitals and clinics for the poor. The October Revolution put an end to “noble education”, and to this day in Russia there is no institution similar to the legendary Smolny Institute.

Appearance female education in Russia we owe it to Catherine II. By her decree and the project of Ivan Betsky, the Smolny Institute of Noble Maidens was founded in 1764. Like any educational institution, Smolny had its own charter. The girls' education at Smolny lasted 12 years...

Girls entered the institution at the age of 6 and remained there until they were 18 years old. The relatives signed an agreement, pledging not to demand her return to the family before this time. Otherwise, no one guaranteed that the girl received an education and upbringing consistent with expectations.

The charter of the institute was strict - the girls lived according to a clear daily routine, and could see their relatives only on weekends and holidays and only in the presence of the boss.

Medical examination.

Recruitment of pupils was carried out every 3 years. If for some reason a place became vacant, the Charter prohibited accepting students from outside - which did not allow an alien spirit to disturb the established way of life at the School.

There were four classes by age, each of which had its own uniform. From 6 to 9 years old they wore a brown uniform, from 9 to 12 – blue, from 12 to 15 – gray, and from 15 years old until graduation they wore a white uniform.

The first class was divided into four parts (each was given its own teacher). Little girls learned to dance, knit and sew. We studied the Law of God and the catechism, rules good manners, Russian and foreign languages, arithmetic, drawing, vocal and instrumental music. In the second grade, geography, history and home economics are added to the number of subjects studied.

Handicraft lesson.

They were also expected to learn self-care skills, such as keeping their hair and clothes in order.

The third class was divided into two parts. The curriculum is added by saying modern language, literature (“reading historical and moral books”), fundamentals of architecture and heraldry. The girls begin housekeeping (monitoring the kitchen, drawing up estimates, sewing their own underwear and dresses from the provided material). The authorities encourage the pupils to write plays and stage them on their own.

Gymnastics classes.

And finally, in graduating class The study of the Law of God and other sciences is completed through repetition and consolidation.

Particular attention is paid to practical activities in housekeeping - girls record expenses, negotiate with suppliers of goods, evaluate the quality of the latter and make calculations, and help teachers in raising younger children. All this is designed to give girls the skills and abilities that will be useful to them in later life, “no matter what state they happen to live in”...

Bedroom.

Food in Smolny was meager in order to avoid “excesses”. An example of the menu of the Institute of Noble Maidens in the second half of the 19th century: morning tea with a bun, for breakfast a piece of bread with a little butter and cheese, a portion of milk porridge or pasta, for lunch a thin soup without meat, for the second - meat from this soup, for the third — a small pie and evening tea with a bun.

During Lent, the diet became even more meager: for breakfast they were given six small potatoes, or three medium ones, with vegetable oil and porridge, for lunch there was soup with cereals, a small piece of boiled fish, nicknamed “dead meat” by the hungry institutes, and a Lenten pie.

Institute cafeteria.

The Charter places extreme demands on the personality of the teacher. high demands. It is the teacher who must “set examples of excellent virtue, excellent dignity”, act with more prudence, meekness and "unforced gaiety" than severity. With all her might, the teacher strives to prevent the appearance of “ everything that can be called boredom, sadness or thoughtfulness”!

The main enemy child development Catherine’s Charter rightly declares idleness and encourages teachers to instill in their pupils a desire to read useful books, including foreign languages. From the first years it is suggested to ask for learning by heart short stories which the children could then retell to each other.

At leisure.

Male teachers or masters, who, if necessary, are involved in teaching at the School, conduct lessons strictly in the presence of a teacher or matron, without deviating from the topic of classes. It is interesting to note that the “staff list” of the School includes 5 priests and deacons.

You shouldn’t think that the pupils of the closed educational institution They led a secluded life and did not dare to open their mouths without orders. On Sundays, ladies from society and young people came to the institute. The pupils gave a concert, performed a play, or spent time simply having a pleasant conversation.

Performance by pupils in the column hall.

Sometimes balls were held to which cadets were invited. High school students had to be able to play the role of polite housewives. The charter required them to be friendly and nobility not only in dealing with their equals, but also with the lowest.

Even such a strict ritual as eating in silence was not without exceptions. Sometimes it was allowed to exchange a word, and “if any girl made some witty remark,” she was allowed to communicate her thought to the whole class for edification.

Tea party with house guests

The main event in the life of the pupils was the public examination, which was attended by members of the imperial family. Upon graduation, all girls were given certificates. Under Catherine II, the “cipher” - a golden monogram in the form of the empress’s initial - was awarded to the six best students, under Maria Feodorovna - ten. The best pupils received service at court, some became ladies-in-waiting.

Good Manners Test

The right faith glorified in the Charter of the School, joyful meaningful work, comprehensive practical education and a friendly attitude towards people without considering their merits - these are the life lessons that were given to a whole galaxy of Russian women - bearers of high ideals of purity, nobility, human dignity, who believed in that these ideals are achievable, despite all the hardships of life.

It is no coincidence that later it was from the “Smolyankas” that the wives of the Decembrists came out, who without hesitation followed their husbands to hard labor in Siberia. The image of a Russian woman arose, in which Pushkin, Lermontov, Turgenev, and Tolstoy later found their inspiration.

Publications in the Traditions section

History of the Smolny Institute

And the history of female education in Russia is inextricably linked with the name of Empress Catherine the Great. "Kultura.RF" tells how the institution of noble maidens appeared and how its emergence affected the lives of Russian women.

Educated women and useful members of society

Smolny Institute. 1800s Photo: pressa.tv

Smolny Institute. 1917. Photo: petrograd1917.ru

Smolny Institute. 1940s. Photo: istpravda

European culture, which began to take hold in our country since the end of the 18th century, has introduced many innovations into the life of Russian people. Under Peter I, schools for girls began to appear. This was the first step for the development of women's education in Russia. But the real breakthrough in this area was the initiative of Catherine the Great, under which the noble maidens were founded in St. Petersburg. The first higher educational institution for women in Russia opened on May 16, 1764.

The creation of the institute was initiated by one of those close to the empress, Ivan Betskoy, public figure, educator, employee of the state chancellery. He was educated in Europe, supported Catherine in her desire to instill in her compatriots the habits of Western life, and also highly appreciated the role of women in the development of society. Betskoy believed that “young men of both sexes” should be raised in equal conditions.

When it was founded, the Smolny Institute was called the “Educational Society of Noble Maidens.” His idea was spelled out in an official document: “to give the state educated women, good mothers, useful members of the family and society.” Ekaterina herself actively participated in the life of the establishment: she invested huge amount money, often came to the institute, where she had long conversations with cool ladies, talked with students and corresponded with managers, interested in all the successes and difficulties. The Empress wanted Smolny graduates to become an example for all women in the country. According to her plan, girls were to receive a good education and develop culturally and morally.

The Smolny Institute accepted girls from well-born but poor families. They came from both Russia and other countries - daughters of Georgian princes, aristocratic women from Sweden. The training lasted 12 years. During this time, the students could not leave the institution either at their own request or at the request of their guardians. Girls were accepted to Smolny from the age of six, and the education program included three classes - each of them lasted four years. Relatives of the pupils drew up a receipt in which they agreed to give the child away for 12 years without the possibility of meetings or trips outside the institution. So the Empress was going to protect her pupils from the influence of the environment in which they grew up before entering the institute.

Getting to Smolny was not easy: potential students had to pass exams in Russian and French, and also have a good religious upbringing. But the most important criterion by which many applicants were eliminated was origin.

“Do not make science subjects of boredom”

Music lesson. Photo: opeterburge.ru

Drawing lesson. Photo: opeterburge.ru

Handicraft lesson. Photo: opeterburge.ru

At Smolny, girls were taught many sciences. The schedule included arithmetic, literacy, three foreign languages, religious studies, etiquette, culinary arts, drawing, music, vocals, geography, history and other subjects. However, the girls studied many of them very superficially. For example, in cooking classes, students from the Smolny Institute learned to fry cutlets from ready-made minced meat. History was studied from one single textbook and often skipped over topics.

The main emphasis in studies was on the rules of behavior in society and the word of God. It was believed that a student of this institution, that is, a future maid of honor or a young lady serving at court, should be able to support a conversation about religion and behave in society with restraint and grace.

Gymnastics. Photo: nrfmir.ru

At the skating rink. Photo: birdinflight.com

Gymnastics. Photo: birdinflight.com

Attention was also paid to the physical condition of the girls. They did light sports exercises several times a week. The diet helped to maintain a slim figure: the food was meager, and sometimes simply of poor quality. Many graduates wrote in their memoirs that food at the institute was one of their worst memories.

The temperature in the students' bedrooms did not rise above 16 degrees. They went to bed and got up early, slept on hard beds, and washed their faces with ice-cold water from the Neva. All this was supposed to toughen the girls.

Bedrooms of the Smolny Institute. Photo: birdinflight.com

Dining room of the Smolny Institute. Photo: birdinflight.com

Washroom of the Smolny Institute. Photo: birdinflight.com

“The charter urgently required that children always look cheerful, cheerful, contented and “free actions of the soul.” Therefore, it was prescribed not to make science subjects of boredom, grief and disgust and to facilitate the acquisition of knowledge by all means, while paying attention to the degree of development and abilities of each girl individually.”

Rules of conduct for noble maidens

Teachers of the Smolny Institute. Photo: birdinflight.com

Teachers of the Smolny Institute and their students. Photo: birdinflight.com

The rules of behavior were spelled out in detail in the charter of the Institute of Noble Maidens. They talked about how teachers should treat Smolensk students and how students should communicate with each other.

More than 20 teachers worked at the institute - these were highly qualified teachers. It is noteworthy that they were all unmarried ladies and, as a rule, over 40 years old. Corporal punishment at the Smolny Institute was strictly prohibited, but teachers did not hesitate to shout at guilty pupils. Disturbing order at the institute was considered “bad behavior,” and naughty girls were called “mauvaise” (“bad”). There was another term - “parettes” (a distorted French “parfaite” - perfect). This is how they teased students who never broke the rules and behaved perfectly.

All Smolyans were supposed to be examples of modesty. They wore the same clothes and hairstyles - smoothly combed braids. Uniform dresses were different colors, the approximate age of the student was easily determined from them. The smallest girls wore coffee-colored dresses, so they were called "coffee girls", girls from 9 to 12 years old - blue, from 12 to 15 years old - blue, and the oldest - white. No fashion accessories were allowed. All this was due to the general atmosphere in the institution, where simplicity and monotony reigned, and discipline and order were valued above all else.

Despite strict rules and the inability to see family, the girls were not kept locked up all year round. They were taken to theatrical performances, art exhibitions, holidays at court. Smolyankas were taught to love beauty and understand the cultural innovations of that time.

Code of the Smolny Institute. Photo: calend.ru

Badge of the Institutions of Maria Feodorovna. Photo: auction-imperia.ru

Employment after graduating from Smolny was practically guaranteed. Many girls remained at the Institute of Noble Maidens after their studies and worked either as teachers or class ladies. For many years of work, they were awarded honorary badges: an orange bow “For their labors” and a silver with enamel “Badge of the Institutions of the Department of Maria Feodorovna.” Some students of the Smolny Institute could become governesses after graduation.

The Smolny Institute existed for more than a century and a half. During this time there were 85 issues. Many of the Smolyans became famous. Shortly before the closure of the institute, Maxim Gorky's lover, Maria Budberg, entered there. At the beginning of the twentieth century, Nina Habias graduated from the institute, who later became a futurist poet. In 1900, Maria Dobrolyubova, a poet and revolutionary, sister of the poet Alexander Dobrolyubov, graduated.

The Institute of Noble Maidens was a big step in the development of women's education in Russia. Based on this institute, other educational institutions for women began to appear throughout the country.

We owe the emergence of female education in Russia to Catherine II. By her decree and the project of Ivan Betsky, the Smolny Institute of Noble Maidens was founded in 1764. Like any educational institution, Smolny had its own charter. The girls' education at Smolny lasted 12 years...

The charter of the institute was strict - the girls lived according to a clear daily routine, and could see their relatives only on weekends and holidays and only in the presence of the boss.

Medical examination.

The first class was divided into four parts (each was given its own teacher). Little girls learned to dance, knit and sew. We studied the Law of God and the catechism, rules of good manners, Russian and foreign languages, arithmetic, drawing, vocal and instrumental music. In the second grade, geography, history and home economics are added to the number of subjects studied.

Handicraft lesson.

They were also expected to learn self-care skills, such as keeping their hair and clothes in order.

The third class was divided into two parts. The curriculum is supplemented, in modern terms, with literature (“reading historical and moralizing books”), the basics of architecture and heraldry. The girls begin housekeeping (monitoring the kitchen, drawing up estimates, sewing their own underwear and dresses from the provided material). The authorities encourage the pupils to write plays and stage them on their own.

Gymnastics classes.

And finally, in the graduating class, the study of the Law of God and other sciences is completed through repetition and consolidation.

Particular attention is paid to practical activities in housekeeping - girls record expenses, negotiate with suppliers of goods, evaluate the quality of the latter and make calculations, and help teachers in raising younger children. All this is intended to give girls skills and abilities that will be useful to them in later life, “no matter what state they happen to live in”...

Bedroom .

Institute cafeteria.

The Charter places extremely high demands on the personality of a teacher. It is the teacher who must “set examples of excellent virtue, excellent dignity”, act with more prudence, meekness and "unforced gaiety" than severity. With all her might, the teacher strives to prevent the appearance of “ everything that can be called boredom, sadness or thoughtfulness”!

Catherine’s Charter rightly declares idleness to be the main enemy of children’s development and encourages teachers to instill in their pupils a desire to read useful books, including in foreign languages. From the first years, it is proposed to assign short stories to learn by heart, which children could then retell to each other.

At leisure.

One should not think that the pupils of a closed educational institution led a secluded life and did not dare to open their mouths without orders. On Sundays, ladies from society and young people came to the institute. The pupils gave a concert, performed a play, or spent time simply having a pleasant conversation.

Performance by pupils in the column hall.

Tea party with house guests

Good Manners Test

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IN modern world not knowing the rules of etiquette means spitting against the wind, putting yourself in an uncomfortable position.

Unfortunately, many perceive adherence to certain norms and rules of communication as something shameful, considering it a sign of highbrow aesthetes who are completely far from real life. However, these people forget that rude and insensitive behavior can cause the same reaction in return.

In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, basic politeness, neat appearance and the ability to manage your emotions. Both apply to both men and women.

♦ Never come to visit without calling. If you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers.
One British lady said that when uninvited guests appear, she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!”
If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”

♦ The bag should not be placed on your lap or on your chair. A small elegant clutch bag can be placed on the table, a large bag can be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor if there is no special chair (these are often served in restaurants).
The briefcase is placed on the floor.

♦ The umbrella never gets dry when open.- neither in the office nor at a party. It needs to be folded and placed in a special stand or hung.

♦ Cellophane bags are only allowed when returning from the supermarket, as well as paper branded bags from boutiques. Carrying them with you later as a bag is redneck.

♦ Any woman of any age should help carry large items and massive bags. Among them not included handbag, light fur coat or coat, unless she is unable to carry them herself for health reasons. It is permissible to bring outerwear to the wardrobe :o)

♦ Home clothes are trousers and a sweater, comfortable but decent looking. The robe and pajamas are designed to go to the bathroom in the morning, and from the bathroom to the bedroom in the evening.

♦ From that moment When a child settles in a separate room, learn to knock when entering his room. Then he will do the same before entering your bedroom.

♦ At the entrance and exit to the premises gentleman opens the door for a lady, and he himself walks behind her.

♦ The total number of jewelry according to the international protocol should not exceed 13 items, and this includes jewelry buttons. A bracelet is allowed over gloves.
The darker it is outside, the more expensive the jewelry. Diamonds used to be considered an adornment for evening and married ladies, but in lately It became permissible to wear diamonds during the day.
On a young girl, stud earrings with a diamond of about 0.25 carats are quite appropriate.

♦ A woman may not take off her hat indoors and gloves, but not a hat and mittens.

♦ Rules for paying for an order in a restaurant: if you say the phrase “I invite you,” this means you pay. If a woman invites a business partner to a restaurant, she pays.
Another formulation: “Let’s go to a restaurant,” - in this case, everyone pays for themselves, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, can she agree.

♦ A man always enters a restaurant first, the main reason is that based on this indicator, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the establishment and who will pay. In case of arrival big company— the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant came first enters and pays.
But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, the man must let the woman through first. After which the gentleman finds empty seats.

♦ The man is always the first to enter the elevator, but the one closest to the door comes out first.

♦ Down the street the man should walk to the left of the lady. Only military personnel can walk on the right and must be ready to salute.

♦ In a car, the most prestigious seat is considered to be behind the driver. a woman occupies it, a man sits next to her, and when he gets out of the car, he holds the door and gives the lady his hand.

If a man is driving, it is also preferable for a woman to take a seat behind him.
The man is the first to get out of the car, he walks around the vehicle and opens the door on the passenger side, while helping the woman get out. Provided that the man is driving the car himself, he must open the door and support the woman by the elbow when she sits in the front seat.
If a man and a woman are both passengers in a taxi, they are supposed to ride in the back seat. The lady is the first to settle into the salon, the man sits next to him.

IN business etiquette Recently, men are increasingly violating this norm, using the feminist motto: “There are no women and men in business.”

♦ When going up or down the stairs, a man secures his companion, walking one or two steps behind.

♦ Never you should not touch a woman without her desire, take her by the hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her by the arm above the elbow, except when you are helping her get on or off a vehicle, or cross the street.

♦ It is necessary to support a woman by the elbow if she stumbles or slips. But in a normal situation, the decision to take a man’s arm or not is made by the lady.

♦ Talk publicly about the fact that you are on a diet- bad form. Moreover, under this pretext one cannot refuse dishes offered by a hospitable hostess. Be sure to praise her culinary talents, while you don't have to eat anything.
The same should be done with alcohol. Don't tell everyone why you can't drink. Ask for dry white wine and sip lightly.

♦ Taboo topics for small talk: politics, religion, health, money. Inappropriate question: “God, what a dress! How much did you pay?
How to react? Smile sweetly: “It’s a gift!” Change the conversation to another topic. If the other person insists, say softly: “I wouldn’t like to talk about it.”

♦ If you are insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice at the person who insulted you. Don't get down to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.

♦ Laugh too loudly, communicate noisily, stare at people- offensive.

♦ If someone calls you impolitely (for example: "Hey you!"), you should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture or educate others during a short meeting.
It is better to teach a lesson in etiquette by example.

♦ Every person over the age of 12 must be addressed as “you”. It’s disgusting to hear people say “you” to waiters or drivers.
Even to those people with whom you know well, it is better to address them as “you” in the office, but only as “you” in private. The exception is if you are peers or close friends.
How to react if your interlocutor persistently “pokes” you? First, ask again: “Excuse me, are you addressing me?” Otherwise, a neutral shrug of the shoulders: “Sorry, but we didn’t switch to “you.”

♦ Maintain confidentiality of correspondence. Parents should not read letters intended for their children.
Spouses should do the same towards each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is acting extremely rudely.

♦ Discussing those who are absent, that is, simply gossiping, is unacceptable. It is impermissible to speak badly about loved ones, in particular to discuss husbands, as is customary in our country. If your husband is bad, why don’t you divorce him?
And in the same way it is impermissible to speak with contempt and with a grimace about home country. “In this country, everyone is a redneck...” - in this case, you also belong to this category of people.

♦ When you come to the cinema, theater, or concert, you should go to your seats only facing those sitting. The man goes first.

♦ Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when entering the room, say hello first.

♦ When entering a room, a man should help a woman take off her outer clothing, and when leaving the room, you should hand her clothes.

♦ It is also customary in society not to sit down if ladies are standing(this also applies to public transport).

♦ Golden rule when using perfume - moderation. If in the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.

♦ In the presence of even a smoking woman, a man smokes only with her permission.

♦ Nine things to keep secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of a medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

♦ Shoes should always be clean.

♦ Don't try to keep up with fashion. It's better to look unfashionable but good than fashionable and bad.

♦ According to etiquette, a man should not be late for a meeting with a lady. On the contrary, the gentleman should arrive a few minutes earlier, because his delay can confuse the lady and put her in an awkward position. In unforeseen cases, it is necessary to warn and apologize for being late.

♦ If you go with someone and your companion said hello to a stranger, you should say hello too.

♦ Many people believe that sushi can only be eaten with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Unlike women, Men can eat sushi with their hands.

♦ If after an apology you are forgiven, you should not return to the offensive issue again and ask for forgiveness again, just don't repeat such mistakes.

♦ Don't forget to thank close people, relatives and friends. Their good deeds and the willingness to offer one’s help is not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

Latest (for today:)

♦ You shouldn't ask a girl out on a date via SMS messages and, even more so, to communicate with her like that.

♦ Do not place your phone on a table in public places. By doing this, you show how important a role your communication device plays in your life and how much you are not interested in the annoying chatter going on around you.
At any moment you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check your Instagram feed, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have been released in Angry Birds.

♦ Don't make idle chatter on the phone. If you need an intimate conversation, it is better to meet with a friend face to face.

And finally - Jack Nicholson on the rules of good manners:
“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Don't shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go first. The purpose of all these countless simple rules- make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I take great care of my manners. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”
sim-portal.ru, lifehacker.ru

Institute of Noble Maidens.